


Knowing Too Late

by Current521



Category: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Mostly Canon Compliant, Sad Ending, Soulmates, canon character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 18:10:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 2,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20878511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Current521/pseuds/Current521
Summary: Ted knows exactly what the last thing his soulmate will say to him is, so he makes sure he hears it often so that it never impacts him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> We had "soulmates" as a prompt last week or the week before in the Starkid Writes discord server, and I posted something else, but got inspired and did this instead.

Like everyone else, Ted has lived his entire life knowing exactly what the last thing his soulmate will ever say to him will be. Unlike everyone else, Ted has also lived his entire life making sure it's said to him often. "Ted! Wait!" He walks too fast, insults people too often, and walks away from arguments. He's heard it so many times, to the letter. It'll never touch him. 

So he doesn't think much of it when Charlotte yells it after him when he leaves her bed the first time. He does, however, stop and turn to look at her. "Now you want me to wait? I thought you just told me to leave."

"I did." She stares at him, and he stares back. "I'm sorry, Ted, I don't know. Sam…"

"What's your tattoo say?" he asks. He could've read it while they were fucking, he'd seen it, on her back, but he hadn't bothered; he'd been busy. Now he was asking. 

"I don't know."

"Bullshit. What's it say?"

"You're being cruel." She curls up into a ball and Ted, reassured for the time being that neither of them is about to die, smiles at her. 

"I'm pretty sure it doesn't say that, I don't think you're capable of being cruel."

She shakes her head at him, but she laughs. "Why do you want to know?"

He shrugs. "So I don't say it. At least not without following it up with something else. So that you don't for a second think that I'm your fucking soulmate."

"What does yours say?" She's still hugging her knees to her chest, so Ted sits beside her.

"Not exactly something to avoid," he says as he pulls up his shirt to show her. "Not that I care. Lots of people say that, or similar things, I know. Might've lost them already."

She reaches a hand out to trace the words on his back and Ted has to concentrate not to flinch. It's too personal, too romantic. He doesn't like it. "You're so casual about it," she says, a note of wonder in her voice.

He shrugs her hands away and pulls his shirt back down. "I don't care. It doesn't matter. People are people, and some stupid words on my back isn't gonna make decisions for me. You don't know, anyway."

She looks at him for a while, thoughtful, and he starts to get up. "Wait," she says, and for some reason, he does. "You said you might have lost them already. Do you know who it could be?"

Ted lays down next to her. He doesn't want to have this conversation, but Charlotte is insistent, and unlike most people he fucks, she's his friend. "I have a few guesses," he admits. He'll humour her, at least for a while. "Could be Heather. Could be Jane. Could be Rory. Probably someone else I've forgotten, but I think those three are the biggest chance, if it isn't someone in the future."

She nods slowly. "Did they die?"

"No, I just don't talk to them anymore. Probably never will. Rory changed his name and moved to Australia — he was Jack when I knew him, and I have no idea what his last name is now — and Heather went and got married and moved to California. Jane did die. So it could be any of them. But loads of people have said that. You just did."

"Is that why you stopped? Because you didn't want to risk me being your soulmate?" She sounded almost sad.

He laughed at her. "Charlotte. I don't care about soulmates. I stopped because you're my friend, and because I wanted to point out your self-contradiction. If you're my soulmate, well, good luck to you, at least I got to fuck you once." He raised an eyebrow. "Or twice? You said yourself, Sam isn't coming home for another few hours."

"Ted!" She pushed his shoulder, but she was laughing. "Alright then. Just this once."

"As much as I've heard that, you'd think that was my tattoo," he muttered, barely finishing his sentence as Charlotte leaned down to kiss him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma lives in constant fear, because the last thing her soulmate will ever say to her is said too often.

Emma suspects that she’s not the only one who’s fascinated with soulmates; pretty much everyone around her had said, at least once, that they hope to find them. She agrees; she does too. But Emma wants to know why.

At 16, she had read that there was a unique sorrow for those who have something mundane written on their backs. At 30, she understands better than at 16. So many people have told her, “Okay, bye,” that the words have lost all meaning. And yet, whenever someone does, especially someone she cares about, she asks them a question. Just to be safe.

So when that guy who’s sometimes awkwardly flirting at her in Beanie’s says it too, she yells after him. “Hey guy, you forgot your change!” She holds up a two-dollar bill. It isn’t his change, but she’s willing to make that sacrifice.

“Oh.” He smiles. “Keep it.”   
She smiles back. “Thanks.”

He leaves, and she takes a deep breath and relaxes. Back to work.

The next day, he’s back, smiling. He doesn’t like musicals which, given the new shop policy she hates, is a relief. His name is Paul, and she actually thinks he’s kinda sweet.

He doesn’t say it, this time, which is a relief. Either he’s not her soulmate, or she’ll see him again. Either way, he doesn’t say it, so she doesn’t shudder with fear.

She goes home that evening and does more research. Texts a couple of friends from Guatemala about it.

She learns that the tattoo is always in the bearer’s native language, even if the words are spoken in a different language. She learns that the tattoo is always on the back, but not always in the same position; hers is tucked under her shoulderblade, but one of her friends has it on the small of her back, and another has it written down his spine. She remembers, more than learns, that no one knows why they’re there or what exactly they mean; the soulmate theory is the most prevalent, and for this reason, many call them soulmarks, but it is far from the only theory. Some speculate that they might just be random. Others just refuse to believe in soulmates. Others think they’re a cruel trick played by some god or other.

Emma doesn’t believe in gods. She does believe in soulmates. She has to believe that they’re soulmarks, and that they work the way her parents told her.

She had to believe she’d find her soulmate one day. That she could do this one thing better than her sister, who had died without ever knowing who her soulmate was; it hadn’t been her husband. So if Emma could do this one thing better than Jane, well. It was something.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ted starts his day normal and ends it.... Less than that.

Ted is leaving Charlotte’s bed for the tenth time, for the hundredth time, for the thousandth time. Sam said he’d be home late and hadn’t come at all, so Ted had chanced sleeping there and getting up at 4.30. It’s alright.

Paul, useless as he is, hasn’t filmed the flash mob he’d seen, and then Charlotte starts talking about Sam and how he came home in the morning — Ted has time to be snarky, and then grateful that he’d left early — and his singing. Ted doesn’t pay attention; she’s always talking about Sam, and Ted hates it.

He corners her in the break room. “Hey Charlotte.”   
“Oh hi Ted. Didn’t hear you come in.” She smiles.

“Come on.” He takes her hand. “We’ll take a smoke break, I need to talk to you.”

She nods and puts the coffee pot down. “Alright, Ted." She waits until they’re outside to say more. "What's up?"

He shakes his head. “Same as usual.” It’s not the first time he’s asked. “I think you should leave Sam.”   
“Why? Because he sings in the shower?” She manages to sound incredulous which, for Charlotte, is an achievement.

Ted laughs. “No, because he’s a crappy husband.” It’s true. “Because he thinks 6am is coming home late. And because you—” he pokes her in the shoulder “—are cheating on him.”   
She looks at the ground. “I know. But I love him.”   
“Yeah, that’s the other thing.” He puts out the half-smoked cigarette and turns towards the door. “I’m sick of hearing about Sam and how much you love him. If you really did, would you let me do this?” He grabs her wrist and pulls her in for a kiss, then leaves without saying anything else.

“Ted! Wait!” She’s used it ever since he showed her the tattoo, to make him stop. This time, he doesn’t. This time, he walks away.

Later, when people come out of Mr. Davidson’s office singing, he holds her hand as they and Bill run away.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma has a terrifying day. It doesn't end.

Paul comes in, terrified, and makes her stop singing. It’s nice to talk for a moment, but Paul is frantic and apparently delusional and is frankly scaring her a bit. She’s almost relieved when she has to go do the tip song.

And that’s when things start to get weird. Nora and Zoey sing the next part in perfect harmony, dancing too, and Emma has never seen it before. Then they’re doing their weird synchronised talking. And then there’s the blue goo in the coffee pot, which really freaks her out, and then everyone starts coughing and singing, and suddenly she and Paul are running.

They find a few of Paul’s colleagues and start to piece together what’s happening. Apparently everyone starts singing and dancing like they’re in a musical, and no one knows why.

“Paul, get in a trashcan. You, beat it.” Some guy with a sleazy mustache shoos her.

“Uhh, fuck you?” Emma isn’t about to leave, not now. She's too scared.

Then police sirens happen, and the woman with them looks relieved, saying she's called someone named Sam, that he's coming to save them. Emma hopes she's right. 

Sam shows up, along with two other cops, and they're definitely not trying to save them. Emma watches with a sort of muted horror as the cops sing.

"Sam, sweetheart, I'm your wife," the woman says, desperately, and Emma feels sorry for her.

It seems to work for a moment, though. Sam takes off his sunglasses. "Charlotte?" Then he puts them back on and sings again. " _ Show me your hands _ ." It makes Emma feel sick.

Several things happen at once, and Emma can't follow. All she knows is that a few seconds later, mustache guy is standing with the lid of a trashcan, Sam is on the ground with blue goo coming out of his head, the two other cops are fleeing, and Charlotte is kneeling next to her husband, panicking. Paul and the other guy are barely registering in Emma's brain, except to check that Paul is okay. 

Charlotte is panicking, the guys are talking about what to do next, and Emma's pragmatic side kicks in. "I know where we can go." She explains to them about Professor Hidgens and his fortress. Mustache guy calls him a king, but she ignores him for the time being.

"Maybe we should go to a church," Charlotte suggests when the topic of an apocalypse is brought up.

Emma is about to reply when mustache guy does. "I'm a Presbyterian, I'm not gonna die in your dirty-ass Methodist Church." Emma mentally renames him mustache asshole, but that's about all she has time for before having to carry Sam, brains falling out, to the police car and then she has to drive.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ted and Charlotte fight, because they always do.

They get to the King — which Ted insists on calling him despite the dumb barista girl insisting otherwise — and Ted doesn't have time to think about anything that's said. The first thing that registers is when he gets a certain kind of satisfaction from handcuffing Sam to a chair. Fuck Sam and fuck Charlotte, and oh he wishes he could.

He suggests it to her, and she gets mad, because she always does, but then she starts to talk about Sam, and well, Ted doesn't mind that she's married, but it's not like he gets off on it. He pushes her away. "I don't know, Charlotte, I'm not your fucking therapist!"

She tries to apologise, but Ted is stressed and he's had enough of her and her husband. "The guy's a scumbag. You could upgrade." He points to himself, then realises how cocky it sounds; he's barely any better. "To a sleazeball. But you refuse to be happy."

He doesn't like how upset he looks, but he doesn't stay with her. 

"So you can stay here with your dying marriage and your dying husband." He tosses her the keys to Sam's handcuffs; no reason for him to keep them. "I'm gonna go hit on that crappy barista."

She cringes, but he assumes it's the insults. "Wait no! Ted! Wait!"

Normally he'd stop. Given the situation, he should stop, make her say something else. But he's had enough, so he goes to the bar instead.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They manage to flee, and Emma compartmentalises.

Emma is sitting on the floor complaining about coming back to Hatchetfield, and Paul is listening, is being kind, is making jokes. She appreciates it. It makes her feel almost normal. Like this was a date and not hiding out in her weird professor's fortress.

Then everything happens at once again, and before she knows, she's saying goodbye to Paul. He doesn't say it, and Emma decides then and there that he's her soulmate, because if she is to stay sane, she has to believe that he'll be back, and if the last thing he says is, "I will never be in a fucking musical," then he'll be back.

She helps Hidgens, quietly. Well, he knocks her out with something, and then she doesn't know anything else.

Next thing that happens is that she's tied to a chair along with mustache asshole. Hidgens is monologuing, and she tries to argue, but eventually, he starts singing, because of course he does. She doesn't even think he's infected yet. 

Then his friends show up, and he certainly becomes infected after that. But Paul shows up to rescue her and mustache asshole, and they get out.

Almost. Paul has a weird and fantastical story about the army and a helicopter coming to save them, and Emma takes his words at face value. They lose mustache asshole along the way, but she doesn't have time to think about that right now. 

Emma is pragmatic. She can compartmentalise. There will be a later.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ted has regrets and discoveries.

Ted regrets not turning around when Charlotte tried to make him, a few minutes later, when she comes in singing, Sam following her. Charlotte's guts are hanging out, as is Sam's brain. And they're singing and all blue and wrong, and Ted feels terrible. He tries to get to Charlotte. He doesn't want it to be true. 

When the king shoots her, he watches with a sort of numb relief. The last thing he'd heard her say wasn't it. He'd almost believed, when he'd left her with Sam, that she might have been his soulmate, that that might be the last time he talked to her, because they were going to remain mad at each other until these singing fucks got in and they'd die.

That wasn't the case. She wasn't the one. She could never be the one, because her soulmate was probably Sam, terrible as he was.

When he has a moment, he goes to check Sam's tattoo.  _ Will you be back soon? _ That wasn't the last thing she said.

He looks at Charlotte, then looks away. He doesn't want to look. She asked him once not to look, and as good as Ted is at breaking promises, this was one he'd kept.

He looks.  _ I'm gonna go hit on that crappy barista. _


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma loses.

Zoey is steering the helicopter, and every hope Emma has had leaves her in that moment.

Then Zoey points a gun, Paul kicks it, and the helicopter crashes.

Emma is on the ground, shrapnel in her leg, and still in fucking Hatchetfield. Paul is fretting over hat, and it would be cute if the situation wasn't so serious.

She tells him about her theory of the meteor, about how he'll have to take it out. She pulls him in for a kiss, but coughs up blood. And yes, it's kinda gross, but she needs this.

Paul resists. "Yeah, you're right," she says. "Fuck it. Get outta here."

He grimaces a bit. "Okay bye."

Fuck. He leaves before she can say anything else. Fuck. He won't make it, or she won't, and they'll never see each other again, never go to a silent movie, never kiss.

A week later, when she's in Clyvesdale and going to see whoever this Ben Bridges is, suddenly, she's hopeful. Because it's Paul.

Paul, who is singing.


End file.
